Thursday, January 24, 2013

Volunteers needed to be Bedside Advocates

Volunteers needed to be Bedside Advocates

Dr. Fine, thank you for starting this organization, you shine hope into the feeling of powerless and overwhelming confusion.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

8 minutes to slim Workouts: self.com

8 minutes to slim Workouts: self.com

WRONG about BlueCat!


Wow, I am so happy I was SO WRONG about BlueCat!

Posted on Facebook Twitter, LinkedIn and sent emails to BlueCat as to how BlueCat screenplay contest had gypped me, taken my money, acknowledge receipt of my screen play and.... And did not give me the review of my screen play their contest site offered.

This morning I woke abut 3 AM (when that happens I am grateful I write) anyhow I opened my email and voila: there was an email from BlueCat with a review of the screenplay I had submitted, to what I thought was for a 2012 contest but turned out to be for the 2013 contest!

I will not diss myself for dishing it to BlueCat, it has been rough since September. My husband  (John) and I after a month of packing had just moved to our home in gold country when - two weeks later - as my mom prepared to visit she had a stroke. After interminable back and forth to Southern California, and mom having other strokes she died. Meantime, in New York,  John's mom fell and nine days after intering my mom in Palm Springs, we were in Long Island for my mother in law's wake and burial.  To say the least, I was frayed, but most likely would still have said something to BlueCat because I hold myself and others to: mean what you say and do what you mean.

Now and with immense pleasure,  I sincerely apologize to BlueCat for saying "they took my money and didn't give me the review promised".

This is the first time I submit a screenplay. Have published articles on CBS-Sacramento and Examiner.com but for novels and short stories I have submitted I only got a "check our webpage for a list of winners"' or the like. To boot, BlueCat's review is more than I expected. Other than for reviews done by fellow writers at groups, BlueCat comes second to a four page review I received  on a novel's first chapters submitted at a writing contest to Leonard Bishop (Dare to be a Great Writer).  When I placed finalist for poetry on the SFWC, although pleased I would have loved a review or guidance regarding my poetry.

So excited about BlueCat's that I am posting the entire review, and although there is much improvement needed, there is some good and I feel energized to make changes!

Now on with BlueCat's review and analysis of my screenplay:




"Dear BlueCat Writer,

Thank you for your submission to the 2013 BlueCat Screenplay Competition. Please find your two analyses of your screenplay from your readers below.

All submissions remain in contention and under full consideration for the competition.

Every BlueCat entrant receives analysis to confirm a complete read of your screenplay and let you know what we thought about your work. We hope you use the notes to develop your screenplay in the most productive way you can.

What do you think about our readers' evaluation of your writing? BlueCat relies on our writers' input to ensure we provide the soundest and most honest adjudication of our submissions.

We sincerely hope your experience with BlueCat gives you the space to focus more effectively on the development of your screenwriting skills, as well as clearing a more direct path to your professional goals.

Please let me know you if you have any questions, and thank you again for sending BlueCat your screenplay.

Sincerely,

Gordy Hoffman
www.bluecatscreenplay.com

Archive #2460
The Dancer
Reader #6094
What did I like?
Your story falls into a clear and specific area of interest that certain audience members are going to appreciate.  The inner world of the dancer is a subject with which many are fascinated, and you have interesting things to say about this throughout your script.  Therefore, I think the expectations that certain audiences may have before reading your story will be satisfied because you are straightforward in your subject matter.  Knowing your audience and what will appeal to their specific targeted interests is important in telling your script in an effective way.  Not only does it mean that you’ll attract audiences that are interested in the niche you’re trying to appeal to, but it also improves overall clarity.  It’s good to keep a little mystery throughout a story so that the audience is consistently wondering what is going to happen next, but it’s also extremely helpful to know specifically what genre the film is and what to expect so that everyone is on the same page in reading your story; good work.
What needs work?
Unfortunately, the clarity of your script in all matters other than the general subject matter was murky.  The structure of your script was confusing, and left me feeling frustrated and uncertain at many points.  Definitely try to clear this up, as losing your audience too early due to something not being clear is often the downfall of many otherwise good scripts.  I noticed two main reasons for this: too even a division between visuals and dialogue, and incorrect screenplay format. 
In considering the former issue of visuals versus dialogue, I noticed that you often have one scene almost entirely told in dialogue, and the next, almost entirely visual.  It seems extremely rigid to so evenly divide things in this way; try to integrate the two together a little bit more.  While film is a visual medium in which so much can be told through imagery (which you seem to understand well because you have so many purely visual scenes), it is often a combination of visuals and dialogue that gets a story across.  Try to juxtapose more of these elements to make them more evenly spread out through your entire script.  This will give your script a consistent feel and a balance that will clear up some of the confusion over what is going on at a given time in your story.
In considering the latter issue of correct format, your script is structured much more similar to a stage play than a screenplay.  Screenplays have a very specific format for the specific reason of avoiding any misunderstandings; it can be confusing enough to understand what’s going on in a movie, so the intent with a rigid format such as screenplay format is to take away one potential area that may trip up readers unnecessarily.  It also reflects more the specific issues that come up with making a movie (just as a stage play reflects the specific limitations and complications that may arise with producing a play on the stage).  Definitely take a look at a screenplay format guide and restructure your script accordingly.  This is an easy fix that will exponentially clear up some clarity issues – you should never give the audience a potential reason for them to disengage, especially if it’s so easily remedied.




Archive #2460
The Dancer
Reader #5051

What did I like:

Although often telling her story in an exhausted, almost detached manner, Morganne manages to sequences the events in her life in an emotionally captivating manner, almost as though presenting her story from a documentary-like perspective.  The sequencing additionally conveys a dramatic sensibility that Morganne is not plagued by a single event in her past, but a collection of increasingly more devastating events that will take a true strength of character to overcome.

What needs work:

Consider the individual pieces of Morganne’s past and how these pieces interact with each other and with Morganne’s specific personal goals.  Morganne only talks about her desire to dance, and seems so scorned by men in the past that it becomes questionable whether she really yearns for a romantic relationship.  Even if Morganne fears the idea of love, give the reader a better sense whether she wants love and whether she even recognizes this about herself, as the third act becomes more concerned with romance than dancing.  Additionally, consider how Morganne’s desire to dance growing up and her struggle with polio relates to her sexual struggles (the rape, the failed engagement).  Right now, these two aspects of her past dominate flashbacks, but never feel as though part of the same character’s back story.

Additionally, consider the stakes of this story and how the emotional stakes reflect Morganne’s goals.  For instance, Morganne references that she blames herself for the rape because she got into the car, yet, because this story does not focus heavily on the influence of that rape, this sense of self blame is never addressed again and Morganne never gets the opportunity to overcome this event.  Consider Morganne’s character arc over the course of the story and focus on establishing emotional conflicts that Morganne can overcome within the boundaries of the script.

The flashback sequences and some of the description passages in the present have a tendency to tell the reader more than show.  Keep in mind that descriptions typically denote strict visuals and any notations of internal emotion or exposition cannot easily be conveyed through visuals alone.  Take for instance, “Morganne remembers but she also knows she cannot live at home,” (34).  This information is impossible to convey through an actress’ expression alone.  Try to find a way to fit this type of information into the dialog, while keeping descriptions focused on distinct actions and visuals.  This may additionally demand expanding some of the early flashback sequences from just visuals, into more elaborate, character-driven scenes.

On a related note to how this story relies on visuals, make sure the visuals do not overpower the story to the point that the dialog becomes lost.  Consider the set-up of Act One – this act delivers some of the more powerful, important flashbacks, yet Morganne’s discussion with Carson seems somewhat idle, as though Morganne is talking to herself, or the reader directly, rather than having a discussion with Carson.  Consider what Carson’s presence adds to this act and how the present is as important as the past.  If you find the situations at present merely frames for Morganne to talk about the past, consider cutting out the flashback element completely and tell the story in real time.

Although a lesser note, this script uses some unconventional formatting throughout, especially within the flashback sequences.  For a more professional appearance and uniform style, consider looking into more standard screenplay formatting techniques.  Additionally, a frequent typo – there are many instances of incorrect your/you’re that would be worth correcting throughout."





http://myemail.constantcontact.com/The-Time-Is-Now-.html?soid=1102110443848&aid=D5pvJGSPP98

http://myemail.constantcontact.com/The-Time-Is-Now-.html?soid=1102110443848&aid=D5pvJGSPP98

Writer Beware ® Blogs!: Venerable Vanity Publisher Vantage Press Closes Its Doors

Writer Beware ® Blogs!: Venerable Vanity Publisher Vantage Press Closes Its Doors

How many more publishing companies will be closing , how can writers protect themselves if their publishing company goes under, is it just going to be a self- publishing world?

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

To bathe or not


The flowing hair and touchable skin industry "natural products or not" profits enormously from selling the fastest way to dry skin and hair loss.

Brushing the hair with a natural bristle brush a few times every night and morning (used to be 100 strokes unless one suffering from hair loss) and a couple of times a week rinsing, and using a little water to style, and the once a week wash was the ritual.

A few years ago I had a rash and the dermatologist said the same to me. Adding that no one should wash daily no matter what products used. That unless one works around chemicals one should only wash daily three main parts: armpits, feet and genitalia with a mild soap and wash the entire body and hair two to three times a week to prevent dry aging skin and rashes. Read somewhere that to dry brush the body keeps skin glowing, and prevent skin problems.

The face takes the worst beating and not to prevent looking like a roadmap more products are not better. There was a time when I used mainly olive oil to clean my face, follow by warm/cold water rinses and Witch Hazel. Dabbed vitamin E under eyes and in dry places, and my skin glowed.
To Why Kiera Isn’t Going to Wash Her Hair: Part 1 article on  Prevention Magazine I say: is it going to be a daily hair brushing, three main parts washing and dry brushing, and an end to excessive face cleaning and pore clogging products?

Sure would like to read what others say and do.


Monday, November 19, 2012

We Gather at the Table for Some Thanksgiving Favorites

We Gather at the Table for Some Thanksgiving Favorites
Love this recipes! if I didn't feel so sick I would cook-up some, I love to cook, but I hate to continue feeling sick so priority one is: get well.

Monday, November 12, 2012

On reading: The Party Next Time


Was reading The Party Next Time, an excellent article on The New Yorker by Ryan Lizza, and have to say that no self-respecting Hispanic/Latin will vote for their own kind just because.
Most Hispanics/Latins immigrated from political cultures that didn't take into account the rights of the working class much less the poor, and without workers no one prospers and if the poor are not helped, more become poor.
Did anyone listen to Romney tell that his parents got welfare? President Obama's mom was a single parent and at times needed help.
I am lucky that, even though I came from a wealthy and politically influential family, my grandparents - self made people - never forgot were they came from and inculcated, at least in me, a respect for humanity beyond having or religious bias. They respected all religions even in their time and in a Catholic country.
It is appalling how so-called conservatives take ownership of God and that is very damming for God is not a thing. They fight against moral issues, such as abortion, but don't give a dam for those in need and will go as far as to say, "don't feed them, they'll just keep growing more". That mentality cripples and must be eradicated along with the belief that minorities are Democrats because they "want something for nothing".
MOST people who have made great strides have risen from down and out, and those who propagate a different view, and so much discrimination against those who need people, must shut-up; they are making millions form distorting truths and feeding discord. They have destroyed the Republican Party.
I am an Independent, because I will not vote or make decisions based on party politics, and yes, I voted for all Democrats because when the old does not work, it’s not my place to fix it. God doesn’t create junk…just saying.

On the hoof

Getting parents on the hoof is the kind of thing that would have become an epidemic if Republicans had won the election. With their "borrow from your parents" policy, the ads we are all aware off, by the lending industry, that make us feel 'guilty' if we don't mortgage our homes or 'save' - not for our retirement but for our kids education – would be like weeds on the landscape of our perdition.  It is very noble – if one is able, to save for kid’s education; even though most of us had to pay for own college. But isn’t is possible that those who don’t just get the college money from their parent's hide will work harder to get ‘good grade’ grants and will pay the consequences of loans that they incurred for the wrong reasons? Just saying...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/Marta_Weeks/parents-student-loans_n_2116677_205381570.html

"Poet Jack Gilbert's time of triumph and loss"


Famous author Anne Rice posted on Facebook "Hello, People of the Page. Jack Gilbert is a great American poet I've mentioned here before. Here is an article about him from today's Los Angeles Times. His latest book is available on Amazon and at other vendors"
I immediately went to the page and read  "Poet Jack Gilbert's time of triumph and loss" I write poetry myself, and in one brief passage of Gilbert's prose: "What if the heart does not pale as the body wanes / but is like the sun that blazes hotter each day / on these immense, perishing fields? What then?" ...in just that bit of immense feeling, Gilbert took me into his world and heart.
Thank you Anne Rice for opening the way to those like myself who did not know Jack Gilbert. I am touched that Gilbert was a former steal worker, and that at Gilbert's readings crowd ordinary people "interested in serious literature and looking for the illumination of a heart they recognized as their own."
Written by John Penner the article about Gilbert, who is now in a nursing home, reminds me of a poem a carpenter, my late husband Victor, wrote: “I’ve torn heaven from the skies/ Made of hell a paradise/ Forgiven God, forgiven the devil/ Does anyone have a dime?”
As I continued to read I sob for my mom Carmen, who not long ago was vital and now is also in a nursing home after a sudden stroke: her days feel like petals falling from the garden of flowers she once tended.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Elizabeth Warren

Elizabeth Warren

WHOA: Tagg Romney Caught On Tape Saying He Wanted To Take A Swing At The President

...Tagg learned from the Mitts... to bully... disrespect... think of himself better than, and threaten with abuse... a Democrat.ticket will stop Congress and House gridlock by bullies...

WHOA: Tagg Romney Caught On Tape Saying He Wanted To Take A Swing At The President

Lilly Ledbetter Broke The Glass Ceiling Whether Mitt Romney Respects That Or Not

...not ready to throw away "equal rights" like, wages, voting, education, and reproductive choices? .... don't want sweatshop wages and working conditions?... vote Democratic to stop Congress and House gridlock.... grow America and with America made... Republicans say anything... but truth is profit before people... firing not hiring... corporations rule... workers are "those 47%"...don't elect big-daddy-bullyboys... little women get pushed under...

Lilly Ledbetter Broke The Glass Ceiling Whether Mitt Romney Respects That Or Not