Showing posts with label Screenplay. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Screenplay. Show all posts

Monday, January 21, 2019

NOVEL TO SCRIPT REVIEWERS COMMENTS

I submitted my screenplay adaptation to TableReadMyScreenplay.com  and received a six (6) page evaluation with detailed information on what is good or needs to change and improve.

For the screenplay, I had in mind a movie like AVATAR. 

Was going to publish the entire evaluation however it is six pages (6) long but decided it would be a bit much. So, to give those interested a sample of what reviewers provided I am posting the first paragraph, two middle ones, and final comments.

I am willing to share the entire document but for that please put a request on comments.  

Title: The Sylph's Tale AKA Ayekah the Damned Writer: Marta Weeks Genre: Fantasy

(First paragraph)

The Sylph's Tale made for a most unusual read. It's very rare for a script to try something quite as experimental as this. The choice to format the story more as a series of vignettes from a creation myth than as a linear narrative made for an attention-grabbing opening. There is a certain charm to the way much of its dialogue and description is handled, as well as a lot of potential in the underlying themes of the story. Fallen angels appear in many stories, but it's far less common to see through the angels' own eyes.

(Two middle paragraphs)

The script rarely seems aware of the potential advantages offered by a film script, and so it also loses many of the opportunities for efficiency afforded by a script. Unlike conventional prose writing, the script never makes it to the audience in a direct sense. Description, for example, insists on referring to real-world locations in abstract terms when it could simply describe them as what they are. Since the audience won't ever see any of the material in the descriptions anyway, "ancient Egypt" can be referred to as such. This would free up more space for The Sylph's Tale to pick one of these locations, in particular, to ground key moments-- Ayekah's heartbroken flight around the world while carrying Haya's forever-preserved corpse, for example.

This compounds worse issues, such as the Salamander sequence. The idea in itself is a strong one, but it's repeated so many times that it loses all semblance of impact. And while it does provide some background on Ayekah's initiation into human lusts and desires, it's impossible to justify this when so many of the script's components are underdeveloped. The ideas of the salamander and the river are present nowhere in the later script. Thematic abstract imagery can work without directly fueling the plot's later events, but this is usually done in much more focused, personal stories. Ayekah and Haya's story should ideally convey this, but it doesn't. Aside from the many stylistic concerns mentioned above, much of this comes down to characterization.


(Final comments)


There's plenty to love in The Sylph's Tale. It's marvelously inventive with small touches, has strong ideas to work with, and strives to present a little-used humanizing take on the old idea of the Nephilim. This script has the potential to go to fascinating places, but it needs a lot of fine-tuning, refocusing and careful adjustment for film industry conventions before it's ready to take wing.


Here's the information for Table Read My Screenplay

I can also be contacted on my Facebook author page: martacweeks.com

Thursday, January 10, 2019

Table Read screenplay comments

While I was away at the funeral services for a beloved family member I received an email with feedback regarding my screenplay submission from Table Read my screenplay. 

Wanted to read it right away but decided to wait, just got home last night. 

The "analysis" of my screenplay is amazing and 6 pages long! It will help me with the novel and screenplay re-writes. I would love to share it with those who let me know they are interested. The email says:

Dear Marta,
"Attached is your script analysis for Ayekah the Damned aka The Sylph's Tale. We thank you for your patience on delivery. Please remember this insight is the professional perspective of one person and is written with the best intentions for moving your script forward. We hope you find the attached assessment useful, and thank you again for requesting it!
Sincerely,
Table Read My Screenplay


I will post actual comments from Table Read soon!



Tuesday, November 27, 2018

Hi, you have my ear-salamander-ring keeping in touch

Your information, experience, strength, advice, books, promotions, art, and comments are all welcomed on my webpage.
I am a new author, last year I published the first book of my series, The Sylph's Tale, as a novella base on mythology I wanted to do a screenplay rendition and did and it won an award.
The book itself has great reviews despite that it was published missing four chapters! Imagine my despair!
However, as the saying, when you get lemons make lemonade, I will soon republish with the four missing chapters PLUS two additional chapters not edited before the initial publication. Bad, because buyers have a book missing four chapters, however, Amazon and D2D tell me they will notify those buyers and offer a free revised copy.
I encourage you to share your writing and reading adventures and to subscribe so I can also send you a free copy of the revised book.